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An Escort’s Guide to Email Screening
As an escort, your first mode of communication for scheduling appointments with a client is email. For a few, it’s phone (phone ladies - I suggested you got to email).
You can tell a lot about a person through their first email communication to you. If they send an email or submit your request form with all the information on it, you are most like good to go for screening and seeing that person. But if the send you an email that goes something like this:
“Hi - My name is John. I want to see you at the Mandarin in San Francisco this evening. I found your ad on Eros.”
Most likely, you are bit peeved, if John has read your ad, he would have known that your site and your Eros ad both said, please send me X information in order to make an appointment. But then you look at the full header and it contains John’s company email address. You forgive him a bit as he did send the main components of screening - his real name and work information.
So you decided to email John back.
You tell John that you are located in Los Angeles and not currently in San Francisco. But you offer to see him when he gets back. He says to follow up in a few days.
A few days pass and you follow up with John, after all, you are good business woman. You keep on top of important things.
John emails you back and says. “I am in Orange County, Why would I drive to see you in LA?”
At this point, most ladies have two choices.
1 - Not respond to John. He is not worth the effort.
2 - Respond to John and remind him he contacted you and asked you to write back.
And for good measure, you let John know that the “holier than thou” tone isn’t appreciated, you are following his request.
John writes back “Screw You.”
You have a choice again, you can:
1 - Not respond.
2 - Tell John he is rude for emailing that, you didn’t do anything. You will not see him.
John of course emails back saying, “Wow - you are a piece of work. You must not have clients, bitch.”
Ladies, at this point, don’t respond.
Why?
Because men like John are a large majority of the men who email escorts out of need for control and power. They waste your time and are the cause of bad client experiences.
But here is the Callie Analysis of men like this:
- Sarcastic - nothing kills chemistry like nasty sarcasm.
- Don’t want to screen/ won’t screen properly - they are disregarding a safety measure, do you want to see them?
- Doesn’t read ads - Obviously they could read far enough to find an email/phone number to contact you.
- Uses nasty language - Clearly has control issues and is going to be nasty in person.
- Sends emails back that are slightly hostile - “It’s play” - No it is not, they are hostile and critical
Overall the email experience says this person is not going to be happy with session, will cross your boundaries and has unreasonable expectations. Do you purposefully want to set yourself up to fail? Men like John are be pleased by you or any one else.
Move on to the next client who will give you the necessary information. Screening shouldn’t involve you pulling teeth.
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:44 pm
[...] An Escort’s Guide to Email Screening | Callie Simms “Overall the email experience says this person is not going to be happy with session, will cross your boundaries and has unreasonable expectations.” (tags: email advice sexwork) [...]
May 25th, 2008 at 7:01 am
The first snarky comment in trying to book with me and they are history. Life’s to short to knowingly spend time with angry assclowns.
June 1st, 2008 at 4:52 am
Personally, I don’t get back to clients who advise me to get back to them. I see myself as a professional whose clients should be checking in with me if they want a session.
But I do agree with you that email is much better than using the phone. It does, indeed, say a lot about a client if he can write a polite, grammatically correct email. OK, he could technically still be a weirdo, but the chances are slimmer.
I also don’t respond (normally, anyway - it depends on what mood I’m in) if someone asks a question like “So, do you offer multiple pops?” First of all, I fucking hate the term “Multiple pops”. Why must people use euphemisms all the time about sex? I mean, jesus christ, if you’re trying to book a sesison with a sex worker, why be coy?! Secondly, I’m hardly about to go into detail in an email about what I do or don’t do. That seems unnecessarily tacky to me, not to mention just plain dangerous.
July 12th, 2008 at 12:18 am
Our ads, blogs and pictures make a first impression on a potential client, as does their initial contact email with us.
Inquiries with vulgar language, questions/comments about sex acts or the attitude of “I’m such an important busy man and I can’t be bothered to follow YOUR directions, so YOU call me if you’re turned on by my fantasy tome/picture” will get deleted. I only contact clients in response to their contact with me - they will follow up if they are serious.
“Wazzup girl - let’s hang out” tells me that they’re too immature to understand and appreciate the dynamics of the experience I offer. They’re feeling a bit randy and are just responding with the hopes of being titillated by a response and maybe a picture.
I save my energy for the majority of the gentlemen who truly want a positive, discreet experience.
December 22nd, 2008 at 12:05 am
One thing I dont particularly dig are the ones who send a one line email like, “Got more pics? The ones I saw don’t show your boobs.” cheeseheads, lol.
Very informative. Thank you.
PS we miss you at Blue Pond.
February 7th, 2009 at 3:50 am
Really nice work! I thoroughly enjoyed your article. Please post more often when you have time. thanks.
February 7th, 2009 at 3:51 am
I truly enjoyed your article. Will link back from my site. Please post more often if you have time. thanks!
March 9th, 2009 at 9:11 am
nice post. I like it alot… but why is it so short?
May 19th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
wow what a collection of great info how long did it take to put together? are you on twitter?
July 13th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Can you provide more information on this?